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Abednego's Journal

16th November, 2002. 1:14 pm. be wary.

this may be my last post for a while.

something terrible has happened and they are closing in, i was right i was right i was right all along and they were watching. somehow they found me, tracked me down, closed in. they were there when mike left and they did, indeed, try and close him down at the hospital. now im running again and again and again and again and it never ends lasts eternal above and below amen.

no, wait, take a breath. either this is compromised and it doesnt matter or its not yet and they found me simply because he has so many EYES that can look for me everywhere. if this is compromised, then ive brought danger to everyone who can read it and im sorry. so very very sorry. the truth has to come out and i believed this was anonymous enough that it could be done so safely, but maybe that wasnt the case.

or maybe it was. maybe its just them and california. i wasnt clear in my own head when i got here--hehaheha as though im sane now, HAHAHAHA--but there are so many of them here and the language of the god, a god, this god, is getting stronger within me and i am starting to notice exactly where things are happening and i think i know why that man was talking to me at h & v before. they have EYES, too.

mike. focus, dammit focus. i said that mike was having tests done when i came by. i came back the next day and the hospital was locked down by the police. a bomb threat, terrorists, someone crazy inside, a gunman with hostages--the stories were varied and all of them meant one thing--stay out, you.

i tried every door and every possible entrance but they were guarded and the police were, for once in this state, alert and watchful. but they missed one thing. one thing only. they missed the fellow who slipped out in riot gear uniform and helmet. i didnt miss him, though, cause he grabbed me and forced me down the street, promising me arrests and beatings if i didnt follow. called me homeless trash--and i have to admit i looked like it. it seems that water and i are no longer seeing much of each other. i feel as though i should, it cleanses and refreshes, but there just doesnt seem to be enough time to waste any more.

so i got dragged down the street, terrified and blathering, im not afraid to admit that. and then around the corner, it was suddenly him under the helmet--mike, reporter mike, terrified and needle marks on his face. ive seen other ones since then--they were pumping him for something, to see what they could see of everything, to see if he knew what i knew. thank god for small favors--he didnt know and still doesnt but they proved to him that something was wrong anyway and gave him the very suspicion they were hoping to avoid.

he cant go home, though. its too dangerous. hes going to call a friend when we get somewhere safe and try and get to the newspaper. freedom of the press, he says. i dont respond.

i dont think he has any more freedom now than i do. but well see.

thank me that i took my laptop and my favorite reading when i went, cause there were police at the hotel as well and we couldnt get back to get anything else. nothing else really matter, though. nothing else in the world matters except for that and this.

speaking of this, someone needs to reach the lady. dmax, others, anyone--get to her and find out who she is. because there is another possibility--she may be working for them. she may be the one who led them to me. friend or foe, i dont know now and if youre out there, i leave it to you to find out.

if shes friend, bring her to you. gather yourselves in bars or bathrooms or the virtual freedom that still exists for the moment and find out who she is and why she got to me first.

if shes foe, a way needs to be figured out to get rid of her. thou shalt not kill, says the man. but he was way out of date. or maybe he was just warning us.

mike says hes found a place way outside the city. ill reach you when i can.

understand the lady in the coming days. for everyones sake.

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